The Professionals

must-watch good/bad cinema

Mar 25, 2018

Oh wow, I saw this gem on El Rey during one of their all-sunday-all-fu-action-pack-tion-marathons. I love kung fu movies, a lot of people do, but this guy takes it to a new level. Brother/sister tea
Jan 19, 2018

Coming in 3 years after Mad Max: Beyond the Thunderdome is this piece by Robert Hayes. Originally (or also-ly?) 'She-Wolves of the Wasteland' we follow the adventures of Phoenix as she works to save
Dec 17, 2017

Take Weng Weng, a 2' 9" tall action star, and put him into a Bond 007 Goldeneye rip off? Done! Add in some of the most comical setups and action sequences and you'll end up with a delightful blend o
Dec 17, 2017

If it's one thing of joy you'll get from this insane feature it will be the grounds-keeper: Torgo. The 'master' is on the hunt for his dozen-eth wife while a family shows up unannounced. Torgo greet
Dec 17, 2017

Usually I steer clear of mockbuster films, but this one really took the extra mile in ridiculousness. The entire film is green-screened with some of the most hilarious visual effects ever seen outsid
Dec 17, 2017

Kung-Fu action taking to a level few ever dreamed was possible. Just when you thought it couldn't get crazier, they slam that last can of what-the-hell-is-going-on and take it there. There's literal
Dec 17, 2017

A PSA from the American Academy of Pediatrics and TIPP. They decided to do a 30 minute spot on bicycle safety. Even while dealing with sub-12 year olds they still felt the need to fill out with a st
Jan 19, 2018

A Roadhouse cash grab done 11 years after the iconic film. Here Billy Ray Cyrus will achy-breaky your soul as Radical Jack, an ex-CIA Navy SEAL operative? Wha? The town has a corruption problem with
Dec 24, 2017

Take Jon Mikl Thor and have him write, produce, and star in a metal music horror themed masterpiece? This sure isn't House of 1,000 Corpses, a feat I think only Rob Zombie could make. This is The Ed
Dec 17, 2017

This is a rollercoaster ride of a movie. It's like a 20 layer wedding cake of insanity that keeps dumping more crazy on the top. "Thanks please, we're good..." "NO! MUST HAVE MORE!!!" And the movie
Dec 17, 2017

This film is a fantastic find. Turkey has a habit of censoring western films and as such there's demand for content. Here some Turkish filmmakers produced a Turkey-legal version of Star Wars. Compl
Dec 17, 2017

A PSA with 80s icon Mr. T. Crazy music, crazier themes, with a general sense of 'who said yes to this?' Panning shots of Mr. T talking with children and the best. theme. song. ever! By far one of t
Dec 17, 2017

One of Trey Parker and Matt Stone's first films, done while in college as their graduate piece. Fun filled murder with melodies is this insane retelling of Alfred Packer's journey in the Colorado wi
Dec 17, 2017

An action movie that just defies all imagination. Out of line cop? Check. Wise-crackin' side-kick? Check. The most soul crushing badly written scene on Earth? Double-Check. A stubborn door? YES th